VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY FOURTEEN: "THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE" TRILOGY (1982 - 1990)

Today's entry is going to have to be short and sweet. I got hit by a pile of work. To make up for it in my brain I figured I'd do a triple-shot on "The Slumber Party Massacre" trilogy.

The original "Slumber Party Massacre" is a lot more complex than most might give it credit for being. It was written as a total satire, but shot like a straight horror film. It has quite a few feminist nods throughout, and it's a funny film, but still a very effective mood piece at the same time. Altogether, it's a super fun movie that most people overlook as cliche'd drek. It's actually far better than most films of this nature though. Also has a GREAT score and Brinke Stevens!

Written and directed by Deborah Brock, "Slumber Party Massacre II" is a direct sequel to the original film, featuring the sibling of one of the first film's main characters. It's also completely fucking insane. It's hard to extract exactly what's going on here, but it's an incredibly fun ride. Some all-girl band gets together in a suburban house, with the sister of one of the survivors of the first film among them. Eventually, a leather-clad Ricky Nelson type killer toting a sick guitar with a drill bit powered by shredding emerges to terrorize and bump the girls off in typical slasher fashion. We sort of get the impression that the killer is a figment of the main character's imagination, and yet he seems to do real harm. It's utterly nonsensical, but completely unforgettable at the same time. The trailer makes the film seem much cornier than it actually is.

I own a copy of "Slumber Party Massacre III", though I have never actually seen it. Sacrilege, I know. This doesn't appear to have any formal connection to the other two films. In fact, it appears to be something of a remake of the first film. I've heard mostly positive things about this movie. One of the coolest things about this production is that it continues the trend of featuring script and direction by women.

NEW ARRIVAL: ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGHSCHOOL FOREVER (1991)

A blasphemous follow up to the original cult classic, "Rock 'N' Roll Highschool Forever" is indirectly entertaining and hilarious due to its own failure. Considering that this was written and directed by Deborah Brock, the woman behind the phenomenal, mind-bending "Slumber Party Massacre 2," this should have been a surreal explosion rather than a flat out unstable mess. I kind of wish they’d have gone "Decline 2" here and put WASP or the shitty metal version of T.S.O.L. in the movie. Somehow they wound up trading down from the Ramones to fucking Mojo Nixon. Also, fuck Mojo Nixon. I read all these reviews, which were probably written by a bunch of 38 year old Matt Pinfield looking douchebags who probably regularly drench the mattress in their mother's basement over the first Royal Trux LP, who all say that the Mojo Nixon shit is worth suffering through this movie for. That's like telling a straight man that sitting through an entire gay porn is totally worth it because there's a really awesome eight guy train fisting scene at the end. I mean, really? Mojo Nixon? Come on, Deborah! You’re from Austin! You could have gotten the Butthole Surfers, or the Dicks! But nooooo. Instead, we get this guy.

Boy, I never get tired of that. Corey Feldman is kind of like Poochie the rockin’ dog here, skateboarding and dancing around like Michael Jackson, while hooting like a retard. He pretty much embodies all demographics and winds up appealing to absolutely no one.

Mary Woronov is the only returning alumni from the original film, and for some reason they completely waste the opportunity by placing her in a roll other than Evelyn Togar. It seems to me that if you’re going to make a sequel and you’re fortunate enough to get one of the original cast back, that the logical thing to do would be to place them in the part of a returning character. Way to go, Concorde!