VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY ELEVEN: FRIGHT NIGHT (RCA HOME VIDEO - 1985)

Considering the phenomenal success of the "Twilight" franchise, I understand why this film got remade. In fact, the idea of a "Fright Night" remake had been floating around for some time. Several years ago, I groaned when I was told that the remake script had something to do with teens stranded in a carnival funhouse fighting vampires. Thank god that never came to fruition. There was even some rumbling that Sony was going to produce a "Fright Night" TV show closely patterned after the two original films. There was hope of striking gold with a "Buffy" for boys. But once again, there were some key elements in the way. And then the 2011 remake got off the ground. Like always, the people behind this "re-imagining" just didn't have a keen understanding of their source material's bones. While the original movie stands as an effective horror film, there are numerous tribunal nods which pay tribute to vampire cinema. It is a smart and well-studied homage. The film's antagonist Jerry Dandrige is shades of Barnabas Collins, having just recently surfaced in a run down Victorian home just next door. And much like Collins had a Cerberus-like familiar in Willie Loomis, Dandrige has Billy Cole. Then there is Peter Vincent, whose name and character are both an amalgam of horror stars Peter Cushing and Vincent Price. Our hero, the horror film obsessed Charley Brewster, played by William Ragsdale, even bare resemblance to Roman Polanski's bumbling, love-struck Alfred from "The Fearless Vampire Killers." Brewster's best friend Evil Ed even falls into the Renfield role. There are numerous other references to the cinema of the blood sucker, which is a tremendous part of this movies appeal. Probably 98% of the original "Fright Night"'s purpose was lost on the producers of the remake, so what they wound up with was a very shallow and direct retelling of the original film with some pointless alterations that add nothing to the proceedings. They do go to the trouble of retaining the actual "Fright Night" title font, because they want to assure people that there is some connection to the original film. However, what Hollywood continually fails to realize is that the original film's cult following sees these re-imaginings as entirely blasphemous. The very concept of a remake alienates the core fanbase because it is seen as tampering with something that is nearly perfect to begin with. And if you're going to go to such extreme lengths to maintain the identity of the original films, why not just make a sequel? Seriously, they couldn't just trot out Ragsdale as a dad and pit his kid up against a similar threat?

At any rate, this film has actually aged remarkably well, though I have seen some people call it dated. Not exactly sure why or how. Some people say it's corny, but a lot of it is intended to be sort of campy as it is largely a tribute to an era of horror that was bygone at that point. Besides, it has Sparks on the soundtrack, so it automatically wins forever.

The plot: Charley Brewster suspects his neighbor Jerry Dandrige is up to no good when he recognizes the photo of a murdered prostitute on a local news report as the woman he saw next door. So, naturally Charley gets nosy and while spying discovers his neighbor is actually an unholy bloodsucker. Interestingly, Dandrige initially tries to reason with the teen, but Charley is far too terrified to consider his proposal. Naturally, this leaves Dandrige with only one choice: to silence Charley forever. The story's great twist occurs when Charley approaches Peter Vincent, a washed-up horror star who hosts the late night television show "Fright Night," which incidentally has just been canceled due to the declining interest in more traditional horror. Vincent utters a great line about how the new generation prefers killers in ski masks hacking up young virgins. But not Charley. Charley believes in vampires. In fact, there's one living next door to him, and he needs Vincent's help to kill him. Charley comes off as pretty delusional, which scares Vincent away. Charley's friends, Amy and Evil Ed grow more concerned that he's experiencing some sort of break down, and so they approach the destitute Vincent with cash and arrange a fake test where Vincent will prove that Dandrige is not a vampire in front of Charley. Unfortunately, things don't go quite like they planned, and soon Charley and his friends are running for their lives.

Virtually everything about this movie continues to work. The script and direction by the uber-talented Tom Holland are top notch. The effects are strong. The photography in particular is beautiful. Each member of the cast is an absolute jewel to boot. Roddy McDowall as horror host Peter Vincent demonstrates a fairly wide range, from hilariously self-obsessed to terrified and eventually confident in his identity as a true vampire killer. Chris Sarandon is absolutely magnetic and likable as Dandrige. However, Stephen Geoffreys as the immortal Evil Ed might just turn in the most memorable performance of the lot.

Trailer courtesy FoundFootageHorror.

SCREAM FOR HELP (1984)

The moment this tape arrived I embarked on a bi-polar coaster ride for over a week before actually inserting it into my VCR. I was initially apprehensive because “Scream For Help” was an unlikely marriage of talents. Not that writer Tom Holland and director Michael Winner are diametrically opposed in terms of what they do. Both are responsible for some of my favorite films of all time. In fact, I’d categorize this pairing as a ferocious dream team. Unfortunately, in my experience, collaborations between two strong and talented personalities usually results in a big, fat let down.

Holland wrote some of my favorite films of all time, including “Class of 1984,” “Cloak & Dagger,” and “The Beast Within.” He also wrote and directed the phenomenal “Fright Night,” as well as “Child’s Play.” The man also has cajones forged from the magma of a netherworld volcano for tackling the intimidating task of penning “Psycho II.” As a screenwriter, I’ve often ponder what it must have been like to have been handed the job of writing a legitimate sequel to what is considered by most to be one of the greatest movies of all time. Going into that project, you had to know there was no way you were going to win. Even if you wrote something that managed to supersede the original, no one would ever admit it out of reverence for the original. People were going to be predisposed to bashing it. Ultimately, Holland wound up creating a respectable sequel. On the other hand, Michael Winner directed, what is in my opinion, one of the greatest movies ever made, “Death Wish 3.” As I mentioned before, sometimes you combine two ultimate badasses and they crack horns ‘til their both drunk, or cancel each other out, and the results are tepid. That's sort of what I was expecting here, because this pairing is like the cinematic equivalent of mana.

You can call “Scream For Help” a success, but it doesn’t come near the sort of artistic achievement most typical people demand before calling a film “great." The dialog here broadsides out of left, frequently veering into unintentionally hilarious territory. The acting has the sort of speech fluidity you only hear on a “Learn To Speak English” tape. The score by Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones comes in tacky, jarring slabs. In fact most will notice that some of the later music cues wound up being used in Jimmy Page’s “Death Wish 3” score. The story itself feels like a compacted season of a soap opera, amplifying its outrageousness. All of these things combine to form a truly entertaining and engaging film. You'd have to have a petrified branch up your ass to not have fun while watching this.

Predating “The Stepfather” by several years, the story begins with a narrative by young Christie Cromwell who is convinced that her mother’s new husband, Paul Fox, is out to get them both. The opening moments of the film harkens to the spirit of innocent William Castle brand fun, ala “Thirteen Frightened Girls!,” but they eventually dump a wild bouquet of vulgarity, blood, tits, and sleazy sex into the mix that occasionally catches you off guard.

The accidental death of a maintenance man arouses Christie’s suspicion in her stepfather. She believes the fatal scenario was intended to claim the life of her mother. Christie decides to shadow Paul and soon uncovers an extramarital affair. Her friends eventually become entangled in her quest for proof, with lethal results. Here’s one of my favorite scenes from the film.

Fucking awesome!

Eventually, Christie convinces her mother of Paul’s infidelity with a little photographic proof. Soon after, Paul and his gang of homicidal conspirators invade the Cromwell mansion with a plot to kill mother and daughter and make it look like a burglary gone bad. The film has an ironic twist, as Christie defends her mother and bumps off the goons using a batch of methods derived from Paul’s earlier failed murder attempts.

Mince chunks of "Square Pegs," "Dallas," early "Dark Shadows," and cut the intensity of “Fight For Your Life” with the suave noir of “The Desperate Hours” all together and you wind up with "Scream For Help." In spite of its loud, over the top qualities, the movie remains relatively obscure. Some feel that the tape's blase packaging effectively camouflages and discouraged most people from picking it up. Don’t let this ordinary looking box detour you, though. Inside this pale looking clamshell exists a wild piece of microwaved trash that stands up to repeated viewings. A super-fun must-own tape for any collector. As a collaborative effort between two heavyweights, it definitely lives up to whatever expectation you might build up in your mind before hand, which makes this movie all the more exceptional.