VHS SUMMER LIVE EVENTS THIS FALL!

To commemorate what is easily the greatest holiday ever conceived by mankind, VHS Summer has coordinated a series of ass-stompingly killer double-features to ring in the Halloween spirit! If you’re in Austin, we urge you to come out to the following screenings with us at Beerland, located on Red River between 7th and 8th Street.

As always, we’ll be digitally projecting the actual VHS Tapes onto the big screen and running sound through our PA. Our concessions stand also vomits free popcorn upon request! A few people I know have expressed concern about seeing movies in this environment, and I'd like to dispel any negative ideas people might have about our screenings. If you’ve been worried that it will be an unpleasant viewing experience with a bunch of drunken hoodlums riding their motor bikes through the club while you're trying to watch the movies, this is not at all the case. We have comfortable seating, reasonably priced drinks, and while it's a different crowd, rest assured they are there to see something unique. There is no shouting at the screen. So, come have fun.

SEPTEMBER 25th: “BLOOD SONG” w/ “BLOOD HARVEST

This month’s theme celebrates slasher films starring 60s pop stars as their culprits! The first film of the evening, “Blood Song” stars the terminally adorable Donna Wilkes from the classic “Angel” as a young girl with a psychic connection to a crazed serial killer on the loose. In the midst of home drama, Wilkes is continually plagued by hyper-violent imagery of a flute-playing mangler’s grizzly deeds as he wheels his way to her locale. The psycho in question is played by none other than former Teen Magazine sensation Frankie Avalon. Guys, no shit, he’s actually very convincing as a mentally frayed stalker with a hair-trigger temper. Come see Frankie like never before as he raves, rapes, rips, and rends his way toward poor Donna in this incredibly strange supernatural slasher!

However, my friends, we have saved the most surreal for last. Closing out the night will be the budget horror classic “Blood Harvest,” which tells the story of a woman who returns home to her rural family farm home to be plagued by a mystery killer. This movie is a total POS, but what makes it so utterly compelling and legitimately nightmarish is that it stars sixties pop sensation TINY TIM as a minstrel clown. Tim is creepy all on its own, but his presence here heightens the already eerie atmosphere to something that will fuck you out of some sleep. Seriously, Michael Meyers is some baby shit compared to Tim in clown makeup. Come get scarred for life!

OCTOBER 9th: “NIGHT OF THE DEMONS” w/ “POPCORN”

This event will be co-hosted by fellow VHS enthusiast and French Inhales frontman Dan X.O. We fully endorse his selections.

“So much can be said, but so few have seen the cinematic splatter work that is “Night of the Demons.” Sure, it's got your run-of-the-mill “possessed teens in a haunted house” plot, but never has it been delivered with such style and humor. It also has a great soundtrack featuring Bauhaus and simulated punk songs from the film’s composers. It also stars Linnea Quigley (“Return of the Living Dead,” “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers”). All constructed by Kevin Tenney, the man who brought you the classic “Witchboard.” I can assure you that after watching this, you will never look at a tube of lipstick the same way again.

Next up is the highly underrated slasher “Popcorn,” and it is surely a treat. A group of co-eds are stalked and killed in a theater during an all night horror movie marathon. Yes, the premise is familiar, but this little nugget has got a few things going for it that most slashers don't: really fucking awesome and elaborate kill sequences, Kelly Jo Minter from “A Nightmare on Elm Street 5” and “The People Under the Stairs,” and a villain so charismatic and likable that it’s shocking that he didn’t wind up with his own franchise. Even the film's protagonist claims "that makes perfect sense" after the killer reveals their motive!”

- Dan X.O.

OCTOBER 16th: “TRICK OR TREAT” w/ “SHOCK EM DEAD”

This edition will be co-hosted by one of our favorite people on the planet, Gerard Cosloy, part of the brain trust behind Matador records, proprietor of 12XU records, author of sports blog “Can’t Stop The Bleeding,” and man about town.

“Through the miracle of backwards-masking, deceased hair metal merchant Sammy Curr returns from the grave to fuck with mourning fan Eddie Weinbauer (Skippy from “Family Ties”) and extract violent retribution from Eddie's bullying classmates. The part of Curr was supposed to be played by WASP's Blackie Lawless but perhaps running out of cash after granting tiny parts to Gene Simmons ("Nuke", the local DJ) and Ozzy Osbourne, they instead opted for former "Solid Gold" dancer Tony Fields (a name that doesn't quite signify "demonic metal icon"). "Trick Or Treat" was directed by Charles Martin Smith, no stranger to confusing music-related projects (his turn as middle-aged looking high school rocker George Smalley in Ron Howard's TV film "Cotton Candy" would rank as the least convincing portrayal of a rock musician...were it not for Tony Fields).

I'm sure everyone reading this is a huge fan of the broadway musical "Damn Yankees". Or perhaps the short lived CBS TV series, "A Year At The Top". Either way, the creators of "Shock 'Em Dead" really upped the ante on deal-wit-da-devil movies when they decided who better to sign a satanic pact than an aspiring metal guitarist? And what better way to reward his devotion to the dark lord than by a) making Traci Lords his lust interest, b) hiring multi-neck guitar wank wizard Michael Angelo Batio as his stunt double? Whoever said "the devil has all the best music" probably never heard Nitro, BUT I DIGRESS. "Shock 'Em Dead" has only gotten funnier over the years, and it's arguably Ms. Lords finest role… since she turned 18, anyway.”

- Gerard Cosloy

VHS SUMMER PRESENTS: TANYA'S ISLAND (1980) with NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (1986)

This Sunday, March 22^nd, the VHS SUMMER series continues at the Beerland Venue in Austin, Texas with a tribute to former Prince protégé, Vanity.

Most remember Vanity as front woman of the sexually provocative pop group, Vanity 6, which quickly rose to fame with Prince-composed songs such as "Nasty Girl." At he apex of their popularity, Vanity left the group and went on to do a lot of irrational things, such as "The Last Dragon," Nikki Sixx, and shit tons of crack. She was also a part of the New Motown label, a Motown reboot which Berry Gordy refuses to acknowledge for some reason. Seriously, I went to the Motown Museum in Detroit about ten years ago, and while on the tour I noticed a darkened corner full of DeBarge cut outs. The guide deliberately steered us away from the corner, so I asked her about the blacked out exhibit. She rolled her eyes and replied, "Oh, that's all that New Motown stuff. Mr. Gordy don't like us to talk about that no more."

In the mid-90s, Vanity nearly succumbed to a drug overdose, but apparently Jesus intervened and told her if she renounced the Vanity persona that she would be spared. She has since distanced herself from her days as Vanity, and gone on to become an evangelist. She's also written a biography entitled "Blame It On Vanity," which is probably just a bunch of inspirational ministry crap instead of stuff about naked, coked up Satanic bonfire rituals at Nikki Sixx's mansion. But still, if you're morbidly curious you can order the book from her website.

Fortunately we're not celebrating the reborn Denise Matthews this Sunday. Instead, we'll be getting down with the original nasty girl herself! First, we’ll be screening the incredibly strange “Tanya’s Island,” an early film for Matthews, wherein she was billed as DD Winters. I’m not even going to pretend to know what the fuck is going on in this movie, but the majority of the film seems to be mere fantasy inspired by Tanya’s volatile relationship with her painter prick boyfriend. Set against the beaches and jungles of a deserted tropic paradise, Vanity spends the majority of the film being violently naked and bickering with her boyfriend, Lobo, whose immature antics drive her into the company of a gentle gorilla she names Blue. Eventually, Lobo happens upon Tanya with her tender ape friend, which sparks a jealousy-fueled feud between the male counter parts which nearly destroys Tanya. The ending is both disturbing and unintentionally hilarious, and will probably haunt you for all your remaining days. Overall, a failed attempt at cerebral eroticism that still manages to be compelling. Also notable for featuring makeup by Rob Bottin and Academy Award Winner Rick Baker.

After that, we’ll be showing “Never To Young To Die,” starring Vanity, John Stamos, and Gene Simmons. Best Bond ever George Lazenby and Robert Englund also enhance the cast. Here, Stamos plays Stargrove, a budding gymnast (yes!) investigating the untimely death of his father, which ultimately leads him to uncover transvestite Gene Simmons’ dastardly terrorist plot to contaminate a reservoir. It’s up to Stargrove, with the expert aid of agent Vanity to help him keep our drinking water safe! This truly insane espionage action thriller cannot be missed!

The doors open at 8:30pm, and “Tanya’s Island” will starts at around 9pm, with “Never To Young To Die” following shortly afterward. Hope to see you there!

VHS SUMMER: THE BOOK!

Great independent record label Tic Tac Totally contacted me to let me know they were interested in making a foray into the world of publishing. For their first attempt, they wondered if I might be interested in assembling a book based around this blog. I was a little overwhelmed by the prospect, but I figured, "what the shit." After all, anxiety is the elixir of youth.

After taping an outline together, I got the thumbs up from Matt, and it looks like this thing is a go. So, I am currently looking for people interested in contributing film reviews to the project.

The book will focus on over 30 film distributors, with a chapter dedicated to each company. The chapter will include a distro history, a complete filmography, review section, and conclude with full-color box art spreads. A few people have already stepped up to the plate, but in order to make this as big as we'd all like it to be, we're going to need help.

If you're interested in contributing to the book, please drop me an email at max.dropout@gmail.com.