THE SEDUCTION (MEDIA HOME ENTERTAINMENT - 1982)

"The Seduction" is the curious result of director David Schmoeller ("Tourist Trap," "Crawlspace," "Puppetmaster") taking his theater studies with Alejandro Jodorowsky, work with Klaus Kinski and mentoring in film by Luis Buñuel and throwing them in a deep, dark hole only to be retrieved at an undetermined point following the completion of this film. "The Seduction" was profoundly mediocre and excellent practice for the three seasons of "Silk Stockings" Schmoeller would later go on to direct in the 90s. It begins with all the promise of a "Red Shoe Diaries"-esque late night cable movie channel softcore, Morgan Fairchild swimming nude while a mysterious onlooker is taking photographs all set to a soundtrack of breathy, delicate violins and electric piano solos scored by Lalo Schifrin ("Cool Hand Luke," "Prime Cut," "Dirty Harry"). This really sets a precedence for the remainder of the film of getting the worst possible outcome from everyone involved, unless you count the acting/facial paralysis Fairchild seems to be suffering from. I guess that's what happens when you pool your talent from television actors famous for their guest appearances on "The Love Boat." "The Seduction" was released during Morgan Fairchild's lucrative career in television embedded seamlessly between her two episode stint on "The Love Boat" and her appearance on the "Billy Crystal Comedy Hour." Playing TV newscaster Jamie Douglas's (Fairchild) boyfriend Brandon is unremarkable Canadian treasure Michael Sarrazin ("They Shoot Horses Don't They"). The slightly more unremarkable Andrew Stevens (10 to Midnight, Death Hunt), who plays Jamie's stalker Derek, road a wave of television softcore work through the mid-90s and into great films such as "Point of Seduction," "Illicit Dreams," "Subliminal Seduction" and so on. Stevens also had the esteemed honor of doing a two episode guest spot on "The Love Boat."

This film has all the suspense of an episode of the "The Andy Griffith" Show with minimal amounts of sex, violence and nudity but revolves around a vaguely interesting concept, lonely people with nothing in their lives but fantasies and the relationship between fan and celebrity. Derek falls in "love" with Jamie because she is an on air personality then begins attempting to inject himself into her life. "The Seduction" is a castrated attempt at a thriller but a step by step instructional on how to make a stranger fall in love with you. Take secret photographs of her swimming, send her flowers, call frequently and always unwantedly, rub your muscles while starring at a photo of her whispering "you can't keep your eyes off me can you", surprise her at work by lurking in her office with chocolates then lay in wait hoping your handsome chiseled face will wash away all the creepy shit you did subsequently. Lover boy doesn't really seem like much of a threat through most of the film but eventually motivates Brandon to turn to the police who can only advise "get a gun" reducing Jamie and Brandon into rifle-toting vigilantes.

"The Seduction" is a thriller falling back on it's softcore erotic qualities which barely exist outside of the music, steamy hot tub sex and peeping toms hiding and sweating in closets. The only potential for merit I can see are the brief Morgan Fairchild nude scenes... a soapy nipple or two and some slow leg caresses, my favorite.

VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY FOUR: 10 TO MIDNIGHT (MGM/UA HOME VIDEO - 1983)

Most of my favorite horror films usually aren't horror films in the conventional sense. For instance, you'll usually find "Deliverance" filed under drama, but at its core it's a very human horror story, even sharing some lightly diluted Poe-esque themes. It's impact on popular culture demonstrates its worth as a horror film. It is the innovator of campground anxiety. It preys on a common fear of isolation, the unknown, and ignorance itself. If you've ever been out in the wild with friends, either roughing it or rafting, you will inevitably hear someone in your party mimicking the "dueling banjos" theme through nervous laughter. And while the events which occur in "Deliverance" are pretty unlikely to happen to you, they're certainly more capable of happening than a marrow sucking beast roving the urban sewers.

Though outlandish at points, J. Lee Thompson's "10 to Mignight" has some basis in reality, borrowing from the real life horror of nurse slasher Richard Speck. It's not a pure horror film in the traditional sense, but that's what makes it so great. You could actually call this one a hybrid horror-action, throwing a conventional slasher into the center of an urban cop drama. The film's basic themes will ring familiar to any fan of Charles Bronson, who stars here as the film's hero, Detective Kessler. While common sense has pointed him in the proper direction of a senseless killer, a system which seems like it's practically been designed to protect the guilty prevents him from nailing the creep. Frustrated by the system, Kessler breaks his ethical code and fakes evidence to put the guilty party away, but when his manipulation of the circumstances comes to light, it sets the maniac free to kill again.

Bronson has some truly incredible moments here, such as his interrogation of the primary suspect where he holds up the fake vagina he found in his apartment and shouts damningly, "you know what this is Warren?! It's for JERKING OFF!" However it is Gene Davis ("The Hitcher," "Cruising") as naked serial killer Warren Stacy who really steals the show. The scenes where Warren stalks and stabs his victims while completely nude are pushes from strange into the realm of surreal by Thompson's choice to shoot them in a dream-like style. Where Davis really shines though is during his vengeful prank calls to Kessler's daughter, Laurie. Absolutely unforgettable!

The film is augmented by performances by Andrew Stevens, Wilford Brimley, and Geoffrey Lewis. Check out the trailer courtesy albadeimorti:

VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY ONE: MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH (ELECTRIC VIDEO INC - 1976)

I've said many times that Halloween is easily my favorite holiday. The month of October ushers in a cooler climate, and TV suddenly gets a lot more tolerable as every network wheels out the creepy programming. Throughout the rest of the year I'm generally regarded as a morbid guy, but during October, people think I'm spirited. While most other holidays force folks onto roads to hang out with family members they can't stand, Halloween represents the true ideal behind the phrase "let all acquaintance be forgot." You don't have to leave town to hang out with grandma. You don't have to do anything, really. Staying home and watching shitty horror films is just as much an act of celebration as trick or treating. And thanks to the anonymity of a mask, we can all get together, regardless of association or lack thereof and just have simple fun. Even if you don't wear a costume or carve a pumpkin, that's okay. There is no ball busting criteria by which you must abide, probably because Halloween is far less important to people. And I'm fine with that. That's one of the things that makes it great. There's absolutely no pressure. Every year I always intend to stay home and hand out candy, and every year I get wrangled into yelling at stupid drunks in Waldo costumes. Thankfully, Halloween proper falls on a Monday this year, so chances are I'll get to sit on my couch and ridicule trick or treaters for their horrible fucking costumes. I am really looking forward to it.

Last October, VHS Summer was pretty inactive, and I felt guilty about that. This year, I'm going to try to make up for that by posting one film every day leading up to Halloween. There will be no particular order to the posts in terms of ranking. I'm just gonna post some of the horror VHS that I really love.

Day One's selection is phenomenal seventies cult classic, "Massacre at Central High." While I shy away from comparing them, I still have to insist that "Heathers" owes its entire existence to this movie. The story follows new transfer David (Derrel Maury), a good looking new kid who by all rights should be running with the cool pack that spits on the nerds. However, David is a genuinely friendly guy who doesn't simply judge people based on their geeky exteriors. In fact, he feels a great deal of compassion toward the nerds being tormented by the school's social elite. When David arrives he's reunited with an old friend, Mark (Andrew Stevens). Mark runs with the cool pack and he's eager to initiate David into their circle. However, David's not really interested because he thinks the cool kids are a bunch of dicks. Time after time, David thwarts these bullies, and in one instance prevents a rape from occurring. The only thing keeping the lords of the school from doing something about David is Mark. However, when Mark catches David diddling his girlfriend on the beach, he gives his clique the go-ahead to teach his old friend a lesson he won't soon forget. The clique sets up an accident that leaves David hobbled and far less effective than he was before. However, soon after David returns to school, a series of mysterious disasters starts claiming the lives of the popular bullies. It's really no secret who's behind these deaths either. In fact, everyone knows who's been at work. As the popular herd thins, their security diminishes, and the nerds they once abused become the new rulers of the school. Unfortunately, they also prove to be equally obnoxious and merciless, which prompts David to concoct an ultimate scheme to level the playing field.

The film is not without problems. The music for instance is fucking awful. The song that plays over the title sequence is bizarrely out of place. In fact, this film's greatness is proportionate to how crushingly bad the song is. However, the majority of the performances are actually pretty good in that they feel very natural. What makes it so good is that there is a great deal of importance placed on the characters and situations, where many imitators emphasized the violence. This film proves that you get a lot more mileage out of even a minimal kill when you give a shit about what's going on, whereas a one dimension character doused in a bucket of graphic gore doesn't go very far.

Ridiculously, this film more than likely remains obscure due to the perceived sensitivity toward stuff like Columbine. Rarely has a film ever been doomed for being ahead of its time, but this certainly seems to be the case with "Massacre at Central High." Hopefully some company with brains gives this a respectable release, as it is far too good to have languished in obscurity for even this long. Somebody get on a BluRay release! Check out the trailer courtesy BloodbathTheater.