KILLER PARTY (KEY VIDEO - 1986)

Holy shit, "Killer Party" is meta as fuck! First off, we open on a funeral scene, where after a cursing the coffin's occupant a woman is pulled inside before being delivered for cremation. From here, we pull back to reveal that this is all being watched on a Drive-In movie theater screen, where a young couple are on a date. This all morphs into a truly bizarre hair metal version of Thriller, featuring glam rockers White Sister, as they perform their song "April." As this music video concludes, we once again pull back to reveal that this video is being watched by a nerdy young lady who happens to be one of the REAL film's protagonists. It is, as my good friend Lyrch referred to it as, a cinematic Turducken. From this point on, it becomes nearly impossible to trust or take anything you're seeing seriously, as you've become acutely suspicious of anything they try to sell you on.

This film has rather interesting history, in that it was almost completed in 1978 before producers ran out of money. The film was later completed in 1984, but not released until 1986. I presume the strange opening sequences which actually lead into the film were most likely what was added onto the film, mainly because the band White Sister didn't actually exist until about 1980. However, the hodge podge beginning is truly to the film's credit. It totally clashes with everything else, but in an absolutely fun way, and it does establish an unease with the viewer on a completely different level than most other films do.

Following its hectic opening, the film falls onto a conventional track, but is still strange enough to remain grossly entertaining all the way through til its ending. Even the timeline is sort of weird. The first chunk of the story focuses on three college girls pledging a sorority. During the final initiation, which occurs on Hell Night - the night before Halloween - one of them pulls a gory prank to get back at the snotty seniors for all the hoops they've been made to go through. However, the sisters are so impressed by what she pulls off that they wave her in under the agreement that she help them get back at some frat boys who pranked them earlier.

By the way, I have to talk about this prank, which I believe is also in the trailer. So, the sorority sisters are sitting around naked in their hot tub in the back yard. One of the frat boys incognito delivers a case of champagne, which permits him to remove the back door's knob. Two other frat boys sneak around back and hurl a jar of BEES at the girls in the hot tub. As they flee while being stung repeatedly, the frat boys basically just film the ensuing nudity. While I was watching this with a couple of friends, we pretty much didn't understand why they needed to involve bees. It just seemed really mean and unnecessary. I'm pretty sure two gawky nerds showing up with a camera would have been enough to send the girls running anyway. But amazingly enough, when these same two frat boys show up to a costume party dressed as bees themselves, it almost casts a weird, fetishistic light on what their fascination with stingers.

Anyway, after the Hell Night initiation prank, we skip ahead to an April Fool's Day masquerade party. So, the gap between events is pretty wide and sort of inexplicable. The house where the party is being held is one with a dark history however, having been the site of a series of grizzly murders. But that's all part of the fun! Naturally, there are a few pranks, but there's also someone bumping the party goers off, too. In fact, once people start dying there's really no breathing room. The deaths come in rapid fire succession until the killer's reveal.

SPOILER'S AHEAD...

Eventually we discover that one of the pledge's, Jennifer, played by Joann Johnson, has been possessed by the spirit of the murderer occupying the dingy house. It's absolutely derivative of "The Exorcist," but the makers of this film take the Italian rout by nicking an idea and giving it an irradiated ice cream paint job. In fact, Johnson's over-the-top performance is what seals this film's victory. With such a wild opening sequence, finding a substantial book end that kept this story from becoming a mediocre down-hill slide should have been possible.

Now, I've seen this described as perhaps one of the worst horror films ever produced. I could not disagree more. In fact, for its period and all of its tribulations, it manages to be a stunning victory. It never manages to be grizzly or disgusting, but it delivers an ample number of creative deaths. I saw a lot of complaints on IMDb which disparage the film by saying it's not scary at all. What, are these people fucking twelve years old? Come on. Horror films are rarely ever a traumatizing experience. I think the most you should expect of a genre film is atmosphere. It should effectively weave a vibe that really sticks with you and creates a moment, and "Killer Party" absolutely delivers mood in spades. Absolutely worth seeking out. The film also features appearances by Paul Bartel ("Rock N' Roll Highschool") and Ralph Seymour, who also played the dude who stole Pee-Wee's bike for Francis Buxton.

Check out the video for "April" by White Sister, featured in "Killer Party." The dude on the keys fucking rules. Watch his kicks. These dudes were also featured on the soundtracks for "Fright Night" and "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers."

THE INITIATION (THORN EMI - 1984)

Problems. I know I have them. I'm sure you do, too. But I like to think problems are what define us as individuals. After all, they say to err is human. Problems are completely characteristic, as we are defined by our struggles. I completely accept this, and I think it's why I find films like "The Initiation" so absolutely lovable. This movie has several problems on every level of production, but the entire affair is executed with such gusto that you can easily forgive a few visible boom mics. Some of the wooden performances are delightfully augmented by lingering or odd shot selections that are unintentionally hilarious. And foremost, the finale delivers a so-called twist without any sort of grace or even logic, rendering it bizarre enough to be amazing. This is an absolutely human piece of film making for all of its errors. It is REAL personality personified, and a completely joyful experience due mainly to many of its fuck ups.

Shit-hot Daphne Zuniga ("The Dorm That Dripped Blood," "Spaceballs,") stars here in her first primary role as Kelly Fairchild, a stressed out college student who's pledging a sorority with a couple of friends. While the title suggests that the core of the film revolves around some ominous rite, the focus is really on Kelly's nightmares, which are later revealed to be suppressed memories of a traumatic event that spawned an early childhood bout of amnesia. Conveniently, some lunatic has escaped a sanitarium and seems and is leaving a bloody wake that's heading Kelly's way. This death merchant eventually tracks their primary target to the Dallas International Market, where an after hours initiation prank is unfolding. That's about this flick hits the nitro on the body count.

By the way, if it was made in Texas, I automatically love it.

Nudity? In the trailer? Fuck yeah!

While nowhere near as strong or well-formed, "The Initiation" reminded me of "Girls Nite Out" (also on Thorn EMI) with respect to its attempt to develop a bond between the audience and its characters. It is the exposition with Kelly and the cast of supporting characters which most regular horror fans reject - a complaint that also hangs like a millstone around the neck of "Girls Nite Out." However, it is the character development in my opinion which strengthens the actual final quarter of both of these films and puts them on a shelf that overlooks most other slasher flicks. Like I've said before, if you're not cheering for the protagonist, films of this nature become a spectacle akin to feeding Christian's to the lions, and you have to be mentally deficient to really get into that sort of thing. The frat party scene, where everyone comes dressed as a repressed desire, is particularly entertaining. It not only breathes a little depth into the people we're seeing, but it's actually pretty funny. Particularly notable is the guy dressed like a giant penis. I honestly think horror films work best when they give us strange excursions that feel ordinary or fun before driving us into the heart of terror. Like ginger for the pallet, these scenarios totally cleanse us of apprehension and really enhance the tension that follows. Good horror lowers your security before pouncing, and I think "The Initiation" scores big points by doing just that.

The righteous Clu Gulager is also a main selling point here. The poster and box art for this film are also really incredible, and really demonstrates how shitty everything has gotten. Now all you get is a photo capture and a cruddy font. Such a bummer, and probably a huge reason why VHS is making such a major comeback.

UNDER HOT LEATHER (ACE VIDEO - 1971)

Originally titled "The Jesus Trip," this is perhaps one of the best of its respective sub-genre. The outlandishly scrumptious plot features a drug-muling biker gang on the lamb from an unhinged motorcycle cop who bum a bunch of nuns out by hauling up in their convent. Granted, this is still an exploitation endeavor, but the bikers themselves aren't simply goons for the sake of mayhem and terror. Instead, the gang members feel like actual people you can invest your feelings in, which gives the situations weight and makes the tension actually work. Mindless destruction is fun, but rarely is it so good that it can sustain your attention for an entire feature.

This stars Billy "Green" Bush as the officer hot on the biker's trail. Most probably best remember him as Zipper in the immortal "Electra Glide in Blue." That's actually the primary reason I tracked this one down. Sadly, the only copy I was able to find was put out by ACE Video under the title "Under Hot Leather," with some awful art obviously designed by someone with no tact or familiarity with the actual content of the film.

BEYOND DARKNESS (IMPERIAL ENTERTAINMENT CORP. - 1989)

The Italians have a luscious history of latching onto popular horror films from the states and turning them into franchise fodder by harnessing the property's name to a landslide of unrelated sequels. Most are familiar with the "Zombie" series, but I guess the Italians also did something similar to Sam Raimi's landmark "Evil Dead," which was released in Italy under the title, "La Casa." Naturally, the sequel was billed as "La Casa 2." However, the "La Casa" franchise continued in Italy with a series of films that had nothing whatsoever to do with Raimi or his original films. The first Italian-produced film in the series, "La Casa 3" was helmed by Umberto Lenzi and is probably better known to English speaking audiences as "Ghosthouse." "La Casa 4" was directed by Fabrizio Laurenti, and is better known in the states as "Witchery." It also stars Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff, and is the only "La Casa" film I have seen outside of the original "Evil Dead" flicks. Recently, I ran across a copy of an Imperial Entertainment release of a film called "Beyond Darkness," also known as "La Casa 5." The box says it was directed by Thomas S. Lennox, but this is not the case. Lennox was an art director on this film, but it was actually directed by Claudio Fragasso, the man who gave us the infamous and beloved "Troll 2." It even stars Michael Stephenson, who played Joshua in "Troll 2." I'd love to pick his brain on this one. I wasn't aware that both Fragasso and Stephenson had worked together on more than one occasion. This actually surprises me considering that Stephenson reflects upon his childhood disappointment after seeing "Troll 2" in his documentary "Best Worst Movie."

"Beyond Darkness," or "La Casa 5," looks like a mashup of various popular supernatural thrillers and tells the story of a priest and his wife who move into a house inhabited by a force that wants their children. I haven't actually seen this yet, but it's going in the watch pile. How bad can it be? It at least has to be entertaining, right?

Check out this crumby clip.

PSYCHO COP (SOUTHGATE ENTERTAINMENT - 1989)

This will always linger in the shadow of "Maniac Cop," and that is to this film's advantage. Otherwise, it might be all but forgotten. The only things these two films have in common is that they are both horror films, and the antagonist is a law officer. The tone and quality of Lustig's "Maniac Cop" is light years beyond "Psycho Cop" though. It's like comparing "Police Academy" to "The Onion Field." They are both animals that walk on four legs, but one is a mammal and the other lays rotten eggs. This isn't a great film, but the makers were definitely self-aware with respect to what KIND of film they were making. This is very obviously intended to be a fun B-movie, and it has its moments. Not great, but adequate. Shockingly, despite my undying hardon for sequels, I have never seen "Psycho Cop 2."

THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER (ANCHOR BAY - 1982)

Holy shit, this movie fucking rips eight phone books in half! This is totally must see! This was obviously supposed to piggy-backing on the "Conan, The Barbarian" sensation, and while it completely failed to do so, "The Sword and the Sorcerer" is still a triumph in the realm of entertainment.

I'm usually extremely cautious about films of this nature in much the same way I am always skeptical of post apocalyptic films. Both types of movies tend to rely squarely on their outlandish settings to get over without making much of an effort to give you an outstanding plot. It's kind of like when you bone a really hot girl, and she just sort of lays there instead of doing any work because she knows she's hot and figures that giving you the opportunity is all she should really have to do. That scenario, to me, is pretty much almost every post apocalyptic movie ever made. The dialog sucks, the action sucks, the characters are bland, but hey, you're in the wasteland and I guess we should appreciate that. So yeah, check out these wrecked cars. It's pretty lame. A lot of sword and sorcery movies operate on that same principle. Well, this affair is a rare exception, because it opens big and never stops rolling. Granted, some of it doesn't make sense. In fact, I'm pretty sure it takes advantage of its more confusing aspects to validate incest, which actually makes it even more insane. It has boobs, inappropriate humor, Richard Lynch, and a sword that shoots swords!

This was directed by the god-like Albert Pyun, whom I recently praised in my review for "Kickboxer 4." This is probably his best film on a technical level, and it also happens to be one of his best. It's also probably one of the larger budgets he worked with, and he really makes the most of it. Pyun creates something epic by very ordinary means, and once again creates a testament to his skill as a great director.

Sadly, the end teases a sequel that never came to be.

STUDENT BODIES (PARAMOUNT - 1981)

This slasher spoof has a few good gags, but most of the jokes come in relentless slabs and are oppressively mundane. This is one of those films which credits Alan Smithee (an anagram for The Alias Men) as a director, and while that routinely indicates that something is so howlingly bad that the maker wanted to disown it, this is not the case here. Directed by Michael Ritchie - the man who brought us "The Bad News Bears" - this was a non-union film made during a Hollywood strike. Ritchie used the Smithee moniker so as not to incur the wrath of the guilds.

The trailer represents a fair ratio of funny-to-bullshit. The gag with the phone is great. Otherwise, it's pretty meh, but still it has a charming atmosphere. Worth seeing at least once.