STUDENT BODIES (PARAMOUNT - 1981)

This slasher spoof has a few good gags, but most of the jokes come in relentless slabs and are oppressively mundane. This is one of those films which credits Alan Smithee (an anagram for The Alias Men) as a director, and while that routinely indicates that something is so howlingly bad that the maker wanted to disown it, this is not the case here. Directed by Michael Ritchie - the man who brought us "The Bad News Bears" - this was a non-union film made during a Hollywood strike. Ritchie used the Smithee moniker so as not to incur the wrath of the guilds.

The trailer represents a fair ratio of funny-to-bullshit. The gag with the phone is great. Otherwise, it's pretty meh, but still it has a charming atmosphere. Worth seeing at least once.

VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY TWENTY-FOUR: BRAIN DAMAGE (PARAMOUNT - 1988)

There are many janky flicks that promise log jams down the soupy canals of psychedelia, but Frank Henenlotter's "Brain Damage" is one of the few that actually feels like it was conceived on drugs. Brian is your average, dead-end dope who routinely gets his nuts treated like a door mat by his bitch girlfriend. But all that changes when he shacks up with a parasitic creature known simply as Aylmer. Not that the reality of his situation changes, but rather Aylmer has something that just makes Brian's life easier. Both have needs, and together they fulfill them. Aylmer requires a steady diet of brains. Meanwhile, Brian's life is a total bummer and he is in desperate need of an escape. Naturally, Brian provides henchman like services so that Aylmer can feed. In return, Aylmer hooks Brian up with a sweet and highly addictive narcotic that makes all the bullshit not matter. Really, in much the same tradition of Henenlotter's fantastic "Basket Case," this is a buddy picture. In fact, the artistically versatile Kevin Van Hentenryck even makes a brief cameo as Duane Bradley at one point. Truly, this is a film for all holidays. See it. Study it. Obey it.