Thursday, September 22, 2011


To commemorate what is easily the greatest holiday ever conceived by mankind, VHS Summer has coordinated a series of ass-stompingly killer double-features to ring in the Halloween spirit! If you’re in Austin, we urge you to come out to the following screenings with us at Beerland, located on Red River between 7th and 8th Street.

As always, we’ll be digitally projecting the actual VHS Tapes onto the big screen and running sound through our PA. Our concessions stand also vomits free popcorn upon request! A few people I know have expressed concern about seeing movies in this environment, and I'd like to dispel any negative ideas people might have about our screenings. If you’ve been worried that it will be an unpleasant viewing experience with a bunch of drunken hoodlums riding their motor bikes through the club while you're trying to watch the movies, this is not at all the case. We have comfortable seating, reasonably priced drinks, and while it's a different crowd, rest assured they are there to see something unique. There is no shouting at the screen. So, come have fun.

This month’s theme celebrates slasher films starring 60s pop stars as their culprits! The first film of the evening, “Blood Song” stars the terminally adorable Donna Wilkes from the classic “Angel” as a young girl with a psychic connection to a crazed serial killer on the loose. In the midst of home drama, Wilkes is continually plagued by hyper-violent imagery of a flute-playing mangler’s grizzly deeds as he wheels his way to her locale. The psycho in question is played by none other than former Teen Magazine sensation Frankie Avalon. Guys, no shit, he’s actually very convincing as a mentally frayed stalker with a hair-trigger temper. Come see Frankie like never before as he raves, rapes, rips, and rends his way toward poor Donna in this incredibly strange supernatural slasher!

However, my friends, we have saved the most surreal for last. Closing out the night will be the budget horror classic “Blood Harvest,” which tells the story of a woman who returns home to her rural family farm home to be plagued by a mystery killer. This movie is a total POS, but what makes it so utterly compelling and legitimately nightmarish is that it stars sixties pop sensation TINY TIM as a minstrel clown. Tim is creepy all on its own, but his presence here heightens the already eerie atmosphere to something that will fuck you out of some sleep. Seriously, Michael Meyers is some baby shit compared to Tim in clown makeup. Come get scarred for life!

This event will be co-hosted by fellow VHS enthusiast and French Inhales frontman Dan X.O. We fully endorse his selections.

“So much can be said, but so few have seen the cinematic splatter work that is “Night of the Demons.” Sure, it's got your run-of-the-mill “possessed teens in a haunted house” plot, but never has it been delivered with such style and humor. It also has a great soundtrack featuring Bauhaus and simulated punk songs from the film’s composers. It also stars Linnea Quigley (“Return of the Living Dead,” “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers”). All constructed by Kevin Tenney, the man who brought you the classic “Witchboard.” I can assure you that after watching this, you will never look at a tube of lipstick the same way again.

Next up is the highly underrated slasher “Popcorn,” and it is surely a treat. A group of co-eds are stalked and killed in a theater during an all night horror movie marathon. Yes, the premise is familiar, but this little nugget has got a few things going for it that most slashers don't: really fucking awesome and elaborate kill sequences, Kelly Jo Minter from “A Nightmare on Elm Street 5” and “The People Under the Stairs,” and a villain so charismatic and likable that it’s shocking that he didn’t wind up with his own franchise. Even the film's protagonist claims "that makes perfect sense" after the killer reveals their motive!”
- Dan X.O.

This edition will be co-hosted by one of our favorite people on the planet, Gerard Cosloy, part of the brain trust behind Matador records, proprietor of 12XU records, author of sports blog “Can’t Stop The Bleeding,” and man about town.

“Through the miracle of backwards-masking, deceased hair metal merchant Sammy Curr returns from the grave to fuck with mourning fan Eddie Weinbauer (Skippy from “Family Ties”) and extract violent retribution from Eddie's bullying classmates. The part of Curr was supposed to be played by WASP's Blackie Lawless but perhaps running out of cash after granting tiny parts to Gene Simmons ("Nuke", the local DJ) and Ozzy Osbourne, they instead opted for former "Solid Gold" dancer Tony Fields (a name that doesn't quite signify "demonic metal icon"). "Trick Or Treat" was directed by Charles Martin Smith, no stranger to confusing music-related projects (his turn as middle-aged looking high school rocker George Smalley in Ron Howard's TV film "Cotton Candy" would rank as the least convincing portrayal of a rock musician...were it not for Tony Fields).

I'm sure everyone reading this is a huge fan of the broadway musical "Damn Yankees". Or perhaps the short lived CBS TV series, "A Year At The Top". Either way, the creators of "Shock 'Em Dead" really upped the ante on deal-wit-da-devil movies when they decided who better to sign a satanic pact than an aspiring metal guitarist? And what better way to reward his devotion to the dark lord than by a) making Traci Lords his lust interest, b) hiring multi-neck guitar wank wizard Michael Angelo Batio as his stunt double? Whoever said "the devil has all the best music" probably never heard Nitro, BUT I DIGRESS. "Shock 'Em Dead" has only gotten funnier over the years, and it's arguably Ms. Lords finest role… since she turned 18, anyway.”
- Gerard Cosloy

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