AMERICAN SAMURAI (WARNER HOME VIDEO - 1992)

Is there a Kumite'sploitation genre? If not, there ought to be. This looks absolutely smashing, starring David Bradley as a swordsman who enters a Turkish fighting competition, where he must fight his half-Japenese bother, played by Iron Chef America host Mark Dacascos. If that wasn't enough to seal the deal for you, this is also directed by the phenomenal Sam Firstenberg, the man who helmed the first two "American Ninja" films, the amazing "Ninja III: The Domination," "Revenge of the Ninja," "Breakin' 2: Electric Bugaloo," and the sadly underrated Steve James classic "Riverbend."

I can't remember if I have ever mentioned this or not, but I have a long-time hatred toward David Bradley that stretches back to my adolescences. I have spent years avoiding most anything he appeared, but I'm finally starting to get over it. It all goes back to "American Ninja III: Bloodhunt." I am a huge fan of the "American Ninja" series as well as Michael Dudikoff. I used to live in the city of Ventura, which is about 90 miles just north of Los Angeles. We were blessed with several decent theaters in my city, but occasionally something was in such limited releases that if you wanted to go see it, you'd have to drive a few hours out of the way. Such was the case with "AN3." I actually skipped school and drove down to LA with several friends so we could catch the very first showing. I cannot begin to tell you how fucking excited I was to see Dudikoff kick more ass. To me, guys like Dudikoff were not your typical breed of action star. He was several rungs above guys like Stallone and Schwarzenegger. Any muscle head can point and shoot, but it takes a profoundly talented individual to wipe someone off the planet with purely elegant physicality.

Anyway, I remember sitting there with my popcorn, in this sterile little theater. The lights go down, there are a few trailers. As the credits roll I don't really notice that Michael Dudikoff's name is absent. After all, he's the fucking American Ninja, right? Why would I even question his participation. About thirty minutes into the film, my friends and I are very upset. We realize that Dudikoff has been replaced by some wiener with a feathery hairdo. We all leave the theater, which was empty by the way, and march to the manager's office, where we demand our money back. They refused to give us a refund, and I vaguely remember my friends and I overturning several planters in the lobby before we left.

My grudge toward Bradley was only mildly cooled by the fact that they brought Dudikoff back to show him how it's done in "American Ninja 4: The Annihilation." I am well-known for elevating grudge holding to an art form, and this is a pretty good example of my work.

By the way, the box art for this is fucking terrible. It looks like some bonus Tae Bo tape.

VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY SIXTEEN: IT! (WARNER HOME VIDEO - 1966)

I'm actually there haven't been any recent films based on the Golem myth. Though now that I've said this I'm sure one will be announced any day now, because I am just that paranoid and arrogant. This particular movie was shot in 1966, and it makes the most of a contemporary setting. This is almost a fish-out-of-water horror flick, and there simply aren't enough genre films styled after "Encino Man" if you ask me. Seriously though, can't someone do a decent budget film where a Golem protects a deli from Neo Nazis in a shitty neighborhood?

In "It!," the irresistible Roddy McDowall plays the conflicted Arthur Pimm, who finds himself in control of an ancient, indestructible statue of mystical Jewish origin. Pimm is initially a somewhat awkward and likable character, but once bestowed with control over the incredibly powerful Golem he starts to lose it a little. This is a surprisingly well made film from Herbert Leder, the man behind such films as "The Frozen Dead," "The Candy Man," and the ball-crushingly terrible "Doomsday Machine." Not sure what happened here, but this is much better than any of his other efforts. This is a well-shot, character-driven British horror flick with ample mod flavor that compels from start to finish. Well worth your time.

VHS HALLOWEEN - DAY SEVEN: IT'S ALIVE (WARNER HOME VIDEO - 1974)

Honestly, a large chunk of these thirty-one entries should probably be dedicated to the films of Larry Cohen. I'm always completely floored by so much of what this guy accomplished as a writer. Not only was he prolific, but he's one of the few guys who understood how to take a fantastic subject and make it feel plausible. The films for which he is known best for contain elements which when summarized sound almost too absurd to ever be taken seriously. However, he doesn't simply tell tales of the strange, but rather he writes about strange things that happen to very ordinary people. The envelopes which contain his odd ideas are completely acceptable because they are so normal looking. They are white, they are letter-sized, they are secure. You feel safe ripping into them. Most directors and writers don't even give you a set up or a vehicle for their intentions. They just drop it in your lap like some dumb animal presenting its master with a fresh kill. Cohen approach has less to do with convincing effects and more to do with adorning the story with nuances of ordinary realism. The more horrific parts of the story are always surrounded by moments that don't really feel like they're out of a horror film and instead seem like real life. A lot of directors fail at making horror films because they don't care about the characters or the situations which define them. Cohen's stories feature real people dealing with insane situations, whereas a majority of horror films only build to a scare or try to hard to feel "scary." Cohen didn't really straight horror films in the conventional films; he made weird dramas dripping with satire, which is why his films are superior to so many others.

Cohen's "It's Alive," the first in a trilogy, is undoubtedly the grand daddy of all killer baby films and also one of his finest. Another thing that makes a lot of his films so great is the casting. By today's shallow standards, a guy like the phenomenal John P Ryan wouldn't stand a chance in blue hell of landing a leading man role, because regardless of his skill as an actor isn't what most would consider to be beautiful. However, charisma has far less to do with beauty than most people might think, and Ryan is absolutely dripping with it. What's more he's a hell of an actor. I also think when a performer looks more ordinary it absolutely makes them more relateable to the ordinary men and women in the audience. The script and direction here are priceless, but the acting rather than in-your-face effects are what really sell the situations here.

Here, Ryan plays Frank Davis, whose wife gives birth to an evolved monstrosity that's more equipped to survive wild badlands rather than lay cooing in a suburban crib. During labor, the baby escapes but not before butchering the hospital staff. At large, Baby Davis creates a wake of panic as it must kill to survive, and the city soon mounts a campaign to hunt and kill the infant before claims anymore lives. The bulk of the story really focuses on the maternal bond between parent and child, regardless of what they are or have become. Davis initially resists his feelings, but once faced with his child he completely caves. Ryan absolutely destroys as the conflicted father during a finale which seems heavily inspired by the sci-fi flick "Them!"

Davis returned to the role of Frank Davis in the phenomenal "It Lives Again." Years later, other mutant infants have started popping up, and Frank Davis has become the figurehead of a sort of underground railroad which protects these children from a government which wishes only to see them exterminated. The third and final installment "It's Alive III: Island of the Alive" is also worth the time, though not nearly as strong as the original two films.

Trailer courtesy 2009Murph.

THE NESTING (WARNER HOME VIDEO - 1981)

Picked up a pristine clamshell copy of this Warner Home Video release last week. Novelist Lauren Cochran moves into her dream home which turns out to be a brothel haunted by ghost hos. Actually, that's over simplifying things, but there really is enough atmosphere here to make you a little nervous if you're alone. Check out the trailer, courtesy of Blue Underground.