Saturday, February 4, 2012


Holy shit, this movie fucking rips eight phone books in half! This is totally must see! This was obviously supposed to piggy-backing on the "Conan, The Barbarian" sensation, and while it completely failed to do so, "The Sword and the Sorcerer" is still a triumph in the realm of entertainment.

I'm usually extremely cautious about films of this nature in much the same way I am always skeptical of post apocalyptic films. Both types of movies tend to rely squarely on their outlandish settings to get over without making much of an effort to give you an outstanding plot. It's kind of like when you bone a really hot girl, and she just sort of lays there instead of doing any work because she knows she's hot and figures that giving you the opportunity is all she should really have to do. That scenario, to me, is pretty much almost every post apocalyptic movie ever made. The dialog sucks, the action sucks, the characters are bland, but hey, you're in the wasteland and I guess we should appreciate that. So yeah, check out these wrecked cars. It's pretty lame. A lot of sword and sorcery movies operate on that same principle. Well, this affair is a rare exception, because it opens big and never stops rolling. Granted, some of it doesn't make sense. In fact, I'm pretty sure it takes advantage of its more confusing aspects to validate incest, which actually makes it even more insane. It has boobs, inappropriate humor, Richard Lynch, and a sword that shoots swords!

This was directed by the god-like Albert Pyun, whom I recently praised in my review for "Kickboxer 4." This is probably his best film on a technical level, and it also happens to be one of his best. It's also probably one of the larger budgets he worked with, and he really makes the most of it. Pyun creates something epic by very ordinary means, and once again creates a testament to his skill as a great director.

Sadly, the end teases a sequel that never came to be.

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